Two textbook examples of the late shove. Well, Sheffey's is not so textbook--but it's Sheffey. I cannibalized the Brennan sequence from a Thunder ad. Although police informer pretty much has the scans on lock, I came up on a grip of mags from 1991 because my co-worker came up on them at his parents' house. So I'll be posting shit from them from time to time. Mostly though, I try to contribute more literary content. Get in where you fit in. In other words, play your position.
Anyway, this film reminded me of this photograph and all this stupid fucking trends of this decade. Oddly enough, it's almost over and I still don't even know what to call it. The 00's? I mean, how do you even pronounce that? Anyway,
THE TOP 10 MOST ANNOYING TRENDS OF THE PRESENT DECADE (in no particular order)
1. all-over print everything
2. skating while listening to mp3 player
3. women's jeans on dudes/super-tight pants
4. ironic mustaches
5. ironic metal shirts (including the subcategories ironic Eighties "hair metal" shirts and ironic Slayer/Venom/death metal shirts)
6. sunglasses inside/at night
7. kids who try bs lipping handrails before they can kickflip on flat
8. New Era--i mean wearing a New Era that is too big for your head just barely on the corner of your head so that if a fucking hummingbird flew by it would blow it off
10. any hip-hop song that rhymes "bottle" with "model", throwing money at the camera, opening champagne bottles directly into the camera, or blowing weed smoke at the camera
wait for it....
wait for it...........
THE MOST MENACE TECH VIDEO PART EVER
by none other than Chris Franzen, who I guess skated for Neighborhood at the time. Now, you might be saying to yourself, "what is all this "menace tech" stuff? What, exactly, are they referring to?" Fear not--all the criteria are contained in this one 2 1/2 minute performance:
USC ledges? check.
picnic tables? check.
Axion Sport footwear exclusively--Aries, specifically? check.
every single trick switch/nollie? check.
flip in/flip out? check.
Santa Monica? check.
Fairfax High? check.
That's it. You need not look any further. The nollie heel ns/nollie heel out in Aries is probably the apex of menace techism in our lifetime. By the way, the Aries, by today's standards of regressive footwear trends, resemble cinderblocks, but I assure you--they were light and skated decent.
If he had managed to successfully land that final line, it would have been the skating equivalent of when Biggie said "fuck state pen, fuck hoes at Penn State." There's some obscure literary term for that technique...oh yeah...antimetabole.
This fall, we did The Outsiders in the class I teach. As you might expect, we talked about "staying gold" and what that means and shit. It's somewhat of a cliche' now, but one of the best ways to do that is keeping up the shit you did when you were a young 'un, like skating. For whatever reason, one of the best parts of that is watching a highly-anticipated video for the first time. It's indescribably stellar. If I ever lose that first-time-watching-a-video feeling, I'm fucked.
Hey, there's an "AYA" throw-up above Koston's head, right after he explodes through that wall. I didn't see any GAMO, SECS, HYST, or IOMI, though. This intro was rad, but it was no triple-screen. It's hard to verbalize the impact the triple-screen had on my developing psyche in 1993. I think it was something about how the message in the song combined with the excessively technical skating to say, "Hey fucker--there are no answers out there. I don't know. Fuck it. Skate as tech as you can." I suppose if this were college I would write a paper compare/contrasting Virtual and FF--with a Venn diagram and shit...
It's probably more rad when you're high. But what isn't? Why spend all that money on something that most viewers will watch once and then fast-forward through, skip, or however DVDs work.
The answer: ART.More on art later.
The new ledge Jedi , for sure. Is his middle name "Maurice"? I feel weird calling another human being "Mike Mo," for some reason. "Mr. Capaldi" is much more effective. Anyway, I'm not a videography nerd by any means, but the only qualm I have with Mr. Evans' editing is the one shot in this part where Capaldi is being pulled up to that HUGE white jumper, and then when he does the trick he's wearing totally different clothes and everything. Is that unethical or some kind of attempt to deceive? I don't know. Is it like when Ternasky would switch angles in the middle of a line because Sal or whoever messed up? I don't know. The ender in this part is perhaps the most mind-numbingly progressive in the entire film. It's like MJ said in Hot Chocolate--skating is one of the few mediums in this world in which one can take pure thought and transform it into reality--i.e., art.
What city does he live in again? I couldn't figure it out. I think the backlash against this part and its genre is due to the fact that Pappalardo chose a different career trajectory than the one he started out on and displayed in I.E. and Photosynthesis. When he and Wenning, the second wave of East Coast Jedis, blew up, they were doing things at the usual NY/PHI spots that were comparable to the technicality of what you would see coming out of California. That's why they fucking ruled. Wenning stayed on the same path, but Pappalardo eventually became, in effect, the evolutionary Matt Reason, with a hybrid of "cellar door"-type "East Coast" skating and some selective technicality.
Anyway, Did you happen to see that documentary American Hardcore? It's supposed to be about hardcore in the early 80's , but everyone they interview in it mostly talks about the Bad Brains and how they were the most amazing, influential band ever. Indeed, I still listen to Rock for Light on a regular basis. Their new "comeback" (more on comebacks and their effectiveness later) record, Build A Nation, is also decent. For some reason, though, I dig their reggae songs more than the hardcore ones. Anyway, the best part is when John Joseph is describing the into to "The Big Takeover" and how fucking awesome it is. Indeed, it is probably one of the most intense introductions in the history of recorded music.
Holy crap, he caught that b/s 360 kf at approximately the 255 point. Sick. I think that double-kink rail is at the Range Rover dealership near the West Side Highway.
ps. the first wave of East Coast Jedis were Pep, Keenan, Andy Stone, Gino, Pupecki, etc.
Breakout part. A masterful performance from a true virtuoso. Guy is the sentimental favorite, but this gentleman provided the highest quantity of mind-numbing NBD's. I remember when Rodney vs. Daewon II came out, Sam said that J.B.'s part was so progressive, it was as if he had time-travelled from the future. Fernandez inhabits the same future. It's like, in 1993 if you had asked me what will skating be like in 2008, I seriously would have replied, "fakie tre flipping street gaps and shit."
Therefore, the level of technicality shouldn't be as shocking as it is, but it's fucking shockingly technical, delivered with speed and that Euro flare like my man Yngwie here. I have no idea how Europeans got so fucking sick at skating and extrapolating their influences. It's almost as if Welcome to Hell was never released in Europe and everyone just kept watching every World vid from '94 over and over again like Yngwie or someone wearing out a Rainbow lp or some shit.
I'm not even going to attempt to list the NBD's, but all his flips out are like a foot above the ledge that he's flipping out of, if that makes sense. When I went to LA almost a decade ago, this guy, his brother, and Daniel Lebron would skate the Venice benches almost every day and holler at the black girls in bikinis. If you never skated that spot, the most mindblowing, for me at least, coming from the East Coast, aspect of it was that the sand from the beach would blow up onto the "pit" or whatever, and the Pacific Ocean was like RIGHT THERE. I know I know... you're saying "big fucking deal" but I tripped the fuck out. Anyway, who knew that ten years later, this dude's part would overshadow, say, Koston's? Although, the fact that Koston's part kind of gets overlooked speaks to the epicness of FF in general. Trip the fuck out. Hard work pays off sometimes.
Inspired song selection. This one would have been a banger, as well. Apparently, they are still packin' em in--unlike the Stone Roses. I mean, how fucking British can you get--the dude is wearing a sweatervest skating past one of those red telephone booths. What country does this gentleman reside in? I couldn't figure it out! Again with the exterior shots...almost as many as an episode of the Real World Philadelphia.
Wait, what city is this television show set it again? OH RIGHT, THERE'S THE STATUE OF BEN FRANKLIN ATOP CITY HALL--I almost forgot.
Someone said evolutionary Oyola? Seems apt. I don't know about you, but Oyola's part in EE3 still fuckin' smokes. The spring that video came out, I must have watched it like 50 times because I stayed in NY during SPRING BREAK!! Problem was, it snowed like a foot so I mostly played Wip3ouT on playstation 1 and skated these tunnels with metal curbs and curb cuts adjacent to the Columbia basketball facility.
The ender seems like it would be super rad if I was on shrooms. A lot of people say the slow motion is overdone in the film as a whole--however, it's fucking rad when Evans uses slow motion to synchronize the ender and the end of the musical composition, like here and in Carroll's [first] part. Again, I'm not one of these dudes that sees every video that comes out, so I don't know if this is commonplace amongst videographers.
If FF is the new Virtual, then this part is the new "Mariano in the friends section in Virtual" part. No wasted space, nor time. The kind of thing where you wonder what's going through the dude's head.
"Okay, I'm just gonna switch laser flip over this street. Tomorrow, I'm going to do a tre flip off this ginormous bump 12 feet in the air. Then, I'm going to 360 ollieflip over a bench."
You don't say...
However, in a way I prefer his part in Bon Apetit because of the "skating down the street" vibe. Progression + naturalistic street skating is fucking unbeatable (see P.J. Ladd's Wonderful, Terrible, Horrible, Modern Life is Rubbish Video).
OTHER FRENCH DUDES W/POCKETS REAL BIG:
GILLET: If I wasn't such a big Jew I would have named one of my kids Jean-Baptiste.
What a fucking rad name. It seems like most of his shit was filmed on Lakai tour. However, a sw fs 360 heel on flat that doesn't look shitty is far from throwaway--it's NBD. No one murders sw heel variations like this dude. Whoa--a cellar door--must have filmed that on the east coast somewhere. I mean, his part in Freedom Fries was better (more lines), but Mr. Gillet, the original Euro jedi, is so prolific that it is irrelevant. I think Cliche are supposed to release another vid this year anyway.
This segment is also notable for its highly controversial song. Ironic perhaps...maybe you were expecting some kind of "college rock". However, my friend, this is not Transworld, although there are stop-motion montages. It's the most epic video of the past 10 years. That demands more SWAGGER. Again, it's hard to tell if the use of this song is ironic because different cultures get psyched on aspects of American culture differently than we do. Like Manowar, for example. It always tripped me out how the would play the biggest soccer stadium in Germany and then come back here and play, like, Joe's Corner Bar in Somerville, NJ. Let me illustrate another example: the following two things are HUGE in Japan:
If Dream Theater ever did an in-store at Supreme Osaka, it would be TOTAL FUCKING CHAOS.
Furthermore, it's not 1992 anymore--you can't just use any fucking song from, say, Sgt. Pepper's and expect no one to notice. Everything is too interconnected now. Not in a The Wire kind of karmic causality way, but media-wise. For example, in the old model, Skateboard company XYZ would film skaters A,B, and C over a few weeks on analog video tape, edit the film in a self-contained editing bay, reproduce a few thousand copies on magnetic videotape cassettes, promote said video in a few print publications, distribute said film via United Postal Service to a few action sports retail distributors and retail outlets. The end user, is of course, the skater, who might go so far as to "dub", using co-axial or rca cables, the videotape onto another magnetic video cassette tape using two video cassette recorders. In a word--linear. In the new real-time, constantly updated FUTUREWORLD, whoever owns the publishing on whatever song would under no circumstances fail to notice. Besides, complaining about soundtrack is asinine--if a particular song doesn't appeal to your personal taste, simply turn the sound off and play something more to your liking. It's been going on since the beginning of time. I suggest this piece of music--it's epic, I assure you.
In conclusion, the imagery in most Ca$h Money Millionaires compositions could also be interpreted as absurdist commentary on materialism in American culture as a whole. But perhaps Gillet, Rousseau, and Puig were genuinely, unironically psyched on it.
Hmmm...nothing to say here...not really the biggest fan...nollie hards over that stair/rail thing is decent...I will say one thing: if I ever need someone to f/s n/g a humongous ledge over some stairs, I will call this guy.
Again, I don't really have an opinion here. This gentleman has obviously met and/or exceeded whatever standards of professional skateboarding exist. Perhaps the dudes that aren't on girl/choc got shorter parts. He does, however, catch that one nollie heel in a matter heretofore unseen, but it's hard to tell exactly how because of the slow motion and tripped-out camera angle.
Dear Mr. Johnston:
Congratulations on a long and successful career. Your part in Let the Horns Blow was rad. So was the the time when you Sanchez grinded the orthodontist ledge. My friend has but one request: please bring back the design of your original pro model Lakai. He tried to find an image of said design on the internet, but to no avail. So, if you remember anything about it, please bring it back.
In addition to the Aries or something like it.
If one looks back at the past 12 or so years, Welsh is probably the sickest of the post-EMB SF dudes. He never switched. At the time he blew up, he came out of left field; I was at the banks the day he sw tre'd over the wall, and he didn't fuck around, I assure you. He certainly didn't sit on the section of the wall over the channel, smoking a blunt and critiquing everyone that tried shit across it. His parts in the Aesthetics video (I feel weird typing the title, for some reason) and Free Your Mind are what I would put in a time capsule to exemplify turn-of-the-century gorilla-on-ledgism. Plus the Aesthetics part, like an old Ternasky production, had a philosophy. What it was, I don't know. Truth be told, I often, to this day, find myself walking and talking like I am, in fact, at war.
One could also make an argument that he started the whole "combo" trick craze in 5ive (?) Flavors. Although, it never really caught on, or resurfaced, until The Storm. Come to think of it, I think Simon Woodstock, of all people, had a sequence in Slap of a ns shoveit ns, or some shit like that. This was when SLAP was still all "DIY."
So Welsh gets a one minute part. Again, perhaps Girl/Lakai dudes got the full parts or he was injured. He still has the market cornered on that "ollieing out of noseslides" thing. KF bs noseblunt the Pat Duffy ledge is nothing to sneeze at, either. Nor is the obligatory mind-numbing ender. Hopefully the lines will return in his next effort.
There are two types of people in this world: Those who first saw and heard Mr Olson's part in FF and said to themselves, "hey, King Diamond/Mercyful Fate, that's pretty cool" and those who said "what the shit, this is the worst song I've ever heard in my whole entire lifetime!" I fall into the former category. Truth be told, I once paid good money to see King Diamond/Mercyful Fate at L'Amour in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. If you ever get the chance to see the King or Mercyful Fate, whatever he's touring as this week, I highly recommend it--he sings into a microphone stand that is fabricated to look like an upside-down cross made of bones, and he can bust out some funny stage banter from time to time.
Anyway, the ridiculous thing about L'Amour, when it was located in Bay Ridge, is it was situated directly adjacent to this guido nightclub, the dance floor of which was visible through a one-way mirror in the rear bar area of L'Amour. I don't know if the nightclub was the same space as the famous 2001 from Saturday Night Fever, but that would have been rad. So all these metal dudes would leer at and oogle all these guido girls in those black pants that girls wear when they go out. Truth be told, I haven't "gone out" in so fucking long, I don't even know if you know what the fuck I'm referring to because girls might not even wear said style of pant anymore. I do know that, because this style of pant does not have pockets, sometimes girls would tuck a pack of Marl Lights into the waistband.
Oddly enough, I had never heard this particular King Diamond composition, even though I was actively listening to Mercyful Fate at the time. I think they even had the Voodoo cd at my college radio station. Everyone that hates or dislikes metal cites lyrics like those in this song as a reason--you know, "kill your mother," that kind of shit. However, with the editing being the way it is, this choice makes sense; I dig the beginning with the slow motion footage of the Chinese peasants synthesized with the acoustic intro. As far as skate vids go, Chinese peasants are the new mentally ill homeless persons.
I don’t know, everyon was saying “evolutionary Cardiel, evolutionary Stranger,” but upon viewing this part, he doesn’t exude the same, as Kelch would put it, out of control “Cardielness” as Cardiel does. There is some Stranger influence, though—the subtle aggression. Because you get a sense that this dude can do anything, yet he chooses to do shit that he does. Similarly, according to legend, Cardiel and Stranger can also do anything; they would apparently show up at the banks at 8 am drinking forties and murder shit. Cardiel allegedly sw frontside flipped over the wall.
That’s according to legend, though.
Best Trick: Fakie tre flip late 180 over the Hip of Doom.
Nice Miles Davis shirt. Who is him in the biopic? Don Cheadle? Should kill.
“I’m waiting til I’m 25 to start my killing spree.
Live a young youth, then KILL!”
Remember when pros were cut at age 21? There was this kind of understanding that once you hit 25-30 it was time to get a real job, or a job in action sports retailing. Now—well you know what they say—“thirty is the new twenty.” Besides, what the fuck am I supposed to do—play racquetball like Carcetti from The Wire? Not to toot my own horn, but I am still halfway decent at tennis. However, I will only condescend to use my one to two hours of free time for TENNIS if my opponent is a young lady. IF you know what I mean.
Basically, I’m tripping the fuck out that there is a gentleman on the planet earth in his mid-thirties doing tre flip noseslides. To put that in perspective, the head coach (pictured above) of the Oakland Raiders is 31.
Fuck—now I feel old. Lane Kiffin must have been some kind of football coaching prodigy to get that job. You know, like the Sheckler of football coaches.
By the way, Al Davis is the best, isn’t he? He has to be in the top five Jews of all time, along with Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Sandy Koufax, and....I'm drawing a blank here. I know what you're thinking, but I'm not going to put Jesus on the list, that's too obvious. Maybe Ayn Rand? That list is up for debate. Anyway, how gleeful do you think the NY Times was to run that photograph? He looks like the witch from Snow White.
I was amped from the second I heard that opening riff:
Cause I’m riding—RIDING ON THE WIND!!!
Because that’s how you feel when you’re skating, you know? Like one is riding on the wind.
Definitely my favorite track off Screaming for Vengeance.
Remember that Kelly Bird graphic? I always wondered if Bird was actually a fan or if that was some semi-ironic move by Klindt or Thiebaud.
Anyway, this is the “get amped to skate” part. I was thinking, based on Carroll’s overall career, he might conceivably supplant Jason Lee in the all-time top five. I mean, consider the following…
Modus is, unquestionably, the apex of his career. Most skaters peak at around that age (23ish). I think it’s because you’re old enough to be super comfortable and adept at all the tricks that feel good to you personally, and still young enough to jump down shit and not have Old Man Style.
In addition, Carroll’s style kills because he does backside tricks 99% of the time, just like Jason Lee used too. Executing tricks backside will look better than frontside 99& of the time.
Dude Looks Like Dude moment: in the lifestyle shot right before the back tail heel out, Carroll appears to be morphing into this dude:
| Outside the street's on fire in a real death waltz |
Between flesh and what's fantasy
and the poets down here don't write nothing at all, they just stand back and let it all be
And in the quick of the night they reach for their moment
And try to make an honest stand but they wind up wounded, not even dead
Tonight in Jungleland
In addition, I know that "TY THAT EVANS CAN'T EDIT," but the edit of the lifestyle shot going into that line at the Car Wash, just as the last verse kicks in? I'm backing it, in addition to the sw heel over the rail edit. Along those lines, it's funny that in every single subculture, without fail, certain members of said subculture think that whatever is less popular or available is automatically superior. For example, dudes who are way into wrestling think Japanese wrestling is better and seek out Japanese wrestling videos religiously. I'm just sayin'...
One more thing: the line that opens with that ollie in front of Brooks Brothers (Patrick Bateman would be stoked) is the 2008 version of the line at this place:
For some reason, the rail loomed 400% bigger in the minds eye then than it does now. Maybe that's because I was skating curbs on a regular basis.
"It hit's you hard, bro!" QOTY.
In all seriousness, I am of the opinion that "energy drinks" serve as a gateway drug to coke. On a daily basis, I overhear my students saying shit like "Dude, I just drank 6 Monsters--I'm so friggin' wired!" Monster cans litter the parking lot like cans of Bud Lite outside a Buffalo Bills game. I'm telling you, you will see a piece about this on 60 Minutes in a year or two. The way it will go down is once they get to high school, someone is going to approach them on some "this is just like Monster but more intense." shit.
Who are the marketing wizards who came up with this one? I appreciate the honest approach, though--it's as if to say, "We know you are drinking our beverage to get high, and cocaine is illegal and expensive. So, here's the best we could do."
Based on my rudimentary internet research, I found out that it was banned in this country due to its controversial, edgy brand name. The real of masterstroke of beverage marketing genius, however, was that one of its selling points was a medicine-like aftertaste that, ostensibly, was supposed to simulate "the drip"(!!!)
Anyway, back to Biebel—I’m a fan. One could say that his image is ridiculous, or perhaps his style is robotic. That’s what people say when one is ridiculously good at something—He’s a goodamn robot. For example, if I may return to the guitar metaphor I utilized above, one can relate it to the old guitar argument of who is better—a player such as Gary Moore, who always seems to be on the verge of complete fuck-up yet always seems to pull off the most outrageous shit, or a gentleman such as John Petrucci, who can execute the most technical arpeggios with minimal effort.
I suppose the skating equivalent of the former would be James Craig, or Cardiel. Yeah, more like Cardiel. It seems crazy I suppose to compare Cardiel to James Craig, but maybe you see what I’m driving at here.
Anyway, is that a Randy Moss Vikings Jersey? Does that now qualify as a throwback? You know you’re getting old when you have jerseys in your closet that have achieved “throwback” status solely because they’re fucking old. Previously I claimed that Gillet owned switch heel variations; it would appear that Biebel owns nollie heel variations. Case in point: into nose manual @ 3 Up 3 Down. Looking into the camera is still a faux pas—that’s just my opinion, though. It appeared semi-serious. As for skating in sweatpants, they are comfortable--just don't fall. Suffice it to say, Osiris mesh cargo wind pants do not, either.
The main thing Biebel has going for him in terms of marketability, however, is that he always comes across like the realest pro out there—as in this interview. You would be hard-pressed to provide anyone with more useful advice than that which he provides at the end. It beats to hell my high school principal’s favorite saying:
The desert boots are the best. The meeting probably went like this:
"Okay guys, we need to come up with something for the growing market segment of skaters that have jobs to which they can't wear sneakers, plus the growing market segment of skaters that go to clubs with "no jeans & sneakers" policies."
"I don't know--copy a Clarks desert boot with a wacky zig-zag sole?"
"DONE AND DONE!"
ps. I think Vanilla Ice wore the hike n bikes in Cool As Ice.
So for whatever reason, my wife gets all this kooky stuff from Marlboro, like chili cookbooks and ashtrays, even though she doesn't smoke. In fact, she never did. Yesterday, though, I received the best cigarette-related knickknack yet--this set of chromed-out dice:
Don't these fucks know that you need three dice to play cee-lo? Shit.
Anyway, that reminded me of that video in which they're playing some dice game using a board as a backstop, like so:
I thought it was this Element industry section, but no dice. There is a definite dice motif going on here, though; it was my mind playing tricks on me again. Pep really was the best. He was actually one of those American Icons like Sinatra or Hemingway or Joe DiMaggio.
I forgot that all these random people were on Element at the time like Jason Ellis and Bear Hughes. In centuries to come, people will marvel at the fact that, once upon a time, there were marble and granite plazas in the middle of major American cities in which kids skated , etc...