Video Review - 48 Blocks/Western Edition: Pandemic

It's hard to put into words how psyched I was when I saw the promo for this video. Truth be told, a Wire-themed skate video could not be more in my proverbial wheelhouse. The two foremost things I love to deconstruct and overanalyze, in one Tim and Henry -sized bindle, if you will.

I've discussed the show here at lengh previously. However, just like a drug addict who, in effect, savors the ritualistic aspects of addiction, my viewing of seasons four and five took on similar dimensions. Waiting until 12:01 every Sunday night for the new episodes to come up on the OnDemand became a quasi-religious experience. I fuckin' needed that shit to get me through the week. Through whatever process, narrative like this, in effect, "turned down" the rest of the world in a Fight Club kind of way. Skating is parallel; oh, what's that you say? You're mad because so-and-so wore jeans on a non-casual-Friday day and didn't get reprimanded? You don't say! Can't print? Got a big presentation? Guess what: I just slammed my feet into wood, concrete, and iron for three hours. That's what I do to relax.
Pandemic sets the stage with a clearly-defined thesis: that skating operates as another component of The Game--of the ways and means of doing things utilized in American cities on a daily basis. I was going to say "urban culture" but that sounded like something off of hypebeast or some shit. You know what I mean. So, let's see how they go about proving it.
BY THE WAY, I promised myself that after Bill Simmons used one too many Wire metaphors a while back that I would refrain from using the show as a rhetorical device. However, fuck it. I feel that it's apt here--it's not like I'm arbitrarily comparing Teddy Bruschi to Avon Barksdale or some shit. So with that in mind, I will review Pandemic by way of comparing the dudes with full parts (Thayer, Johnson, Lavar, and Keegan) to characters from the show. By the way, if you have access to HBO and you didn't watch Generation Kill (masterminded by Wire dudes) this summer, you lapsed. Unless you are some kind of BBC news junkie, it's doubtful you have seen or will see as brutal a portrayal of the Iraq War anywhere.

OVERVIEW

Since its inception Western Edition has occupied a space somewhere between mid-Nineties Stereo and Girl/Choc . Drawing upon the Spirit of San Francisco, their three previous video offerings have kept the spirit of soul-soundtracked ledge/line skating alive throughout the current decade. Pandemic, however, sets out on a much more ambitious mission. The promo is edited, in effect, exactly like a 10-minute episode of The Wire--with opening song, opening montage, closing song, and credits. I would have chosen the Tom Waits song from Season 2 ("the forgotten season") but that's just me. Each section also includes a meaningful audio quote from the series. I gotta tell ya, the only video I can recall that intertwined film clips like this was those clips from The Man With One Red Shoe that were, for some reason, included randomly in Whatever. Or Da Deal is Dead--I can't quite recall. Only Josh Friedberg knows for sure...

THAYER

Who's a dude that's been in the game for a minute, not overly demonstrative but still effective as fuck?
Bodie.
Shorter than his part in WE3; however, effortless hardflippage on all kinds of different shit more than compensates. Ventures into the Jean-Baptise realm with an overturned noseblunt to switch b/s 5/0 on a bank, or "street transition," as they say. What does that even mean?

"THE BLOCK" Montage

That "Unfriendly Game" track reinforces the thesis, drawing parallels between The Game and The Industry.

JOHNSON

That smirk? After his ender? That's 150% McNulty. By the way, whatever happened to that dude Sean McNulty that was on Sugar Skateboards? They should have found him for this project, if only for a line or single.
McNulty is the best. I wish I had a job where it was politic to curse and yell at people.
DAMMIT McNULTY!!!
ANYWAY, Catalyst rep Joey Johnson encorporates tech (on and into actual streets, which is imperative) with flowing downhill type shit not seen every day. Reminiscent of Curtin, after a fashion. Looking forward to seeing what this dude comes up with in the future.

THE WESTERN (district)

In addition to Brad “Carcetti” Johnson, Toeda non-illusion sw hardflips and interprets western culture into switchstance backside tailslides on waist-high ledges. However, in my opinion, Dwayne Galloway came up the most in this part with some ledge/manual creativity interspersed with blasted f/s flips and lien airs.
NEWS FLASH: dudes are skating the fountain gap again.
I repeat: Dudes are skating the fountain gap again. That simple fact psyched me up as much as anything else in the vid.


LAVAR McBRIDE

An assassin coming back from the brink of death. Yup, it's....

Brother Mouzone, one of the most underrated dudes in the whole saga. The way I look at it, he was at least as badass as Omar. Who else says "good day to you sir" after shooting a dude in broad daylight? I kept waiting for another comeback in season five, but to no avail. However, if you blinked you probably missed Nicky from Season 2 getting arrested.

"No need to prolong this."
"Nah, we got time..."
ANYWAY,
While not as messianic as Guy’s comeback, Lavar seems to have picked up right where he left off a decade ago. Yes, the “almost-falling-off-the-board” style (See any Harold Hunter footage for another example) still prevails—an increasingly rare attribute in a world inhabited by bolts landers like Capaldi and Malto. Anyway, it’s Lavar—like an old friend/DYUTSW (dude you used to skate with) that you see at some spot or park after a fucking decade.
Hard to believe this dude, for a two-year period, was arguably top five in the world. Equally as hard to believe is the fact that, the blind lineup in 1994 was Keenan, Lavar, Sanchez, and Creager. In terms of pure mind-numbing technicality, one could argue that that particular group was ahead of Girl at the time. In terms of Lavar in specifically, he had that vibe that there was no trick he could not do – similar to the space Trapasso occupies today. If my memory is functioning correctly, his east coast sidekick Mike Wright once told me that he was fucking with switch kickflip b/s ng at the pier in, like, '97. It was as if only physical space confined his ability to film hard-as-fuck lines, as seen in the end of 20 Shot. In fact, that part and his encyclopedic part in Trilogy, in which his “ender” line is probably still going on in some alternate universe, spawned the following theory in my mind, a theory that has not been put forth in the written word until now:

THE LAVAR McBRIDE THEORY:

Lavar’s part in Trilogy was so linear that it caused a backlash and paradigm shift in video editing that emphasized quicker cuts, shorter parts, more slow-motion, and fewer lines. Combined with advances in video technology, this resulted in parts like Appleyard’s in Photosynthesis, where one saw single tricks like nollie heel crooked with some computer animation layered on top of it and only one three trick line. The endgame had to have been Luzka’s soul-crushing part in the Almost video ; I have yet to see a more cynical M60-like rail attack editing style.

ANYWAY, Lavar is back, and Nineties nostalgists will be proud. In particular, the switchstance 360 kickflip off the bump into traffic looks like something off the 20 Shot cutting room floor. And, as many of you have undoubtedly seen, the nollie bigspin kickflip over the library gap indicates that Lavar still has that progressive spark in his mind. Hopefully this sets the stage for Affiliate to make moves in the upcoming fiscal year.

KEEGAN

A young gun that kills in the East, kills in the West. Had to be Marlo.

"My name is my name."

Indeed, the first East Coaster besides Igei on the WE squad nailguns the video shut with a how-to demonstration of techniques at an assortment of Boston, NY, and some SF spots. In particular, that spot that looks like the Museum of Natural History benches, running alongside a river or lake, is particularly scenic. You might remember this dude from the RAW promo, another example of the recent crop of sick “internet only”-type promos. I would go so far as to say that the ten-to-fifteen-minute promo is the perfect format—there’s a reason why Tim and Henry’s and Snuff are in most dudes’ top five. It’s not brain surgery. Kids that rip, decent music, short enough to watch before skating.
In terms of the East Coast mentality displayed, there's this misconception floating around that once you cross the Mississippi that the only spots are cellar doors, pole jams, and esoteric wallrides. There may be some of that, but kids fucking rip everywhere in a million different ways. Every park, spot, or little zone has that one dude that can do anything. However, the seasons and differences in urban/suburban terrain force one to adapt to survive and foster a certain subtle difference in swag.

Regarding the aforementioned bench spot, the sw b/s tailslide shoveit hearkens back to Stevie’s in the FIT video, which is just about the highest compliment one can give a sw b/s tailslide shoveit. However, like someone said on the SLAP board, it seems like he isn’t really trying, which is a productive mental place to inhabit. He’s still in the “golf club” stage, trying to be a gentleman about it. But one thing he does is show a propensity for combining tech with naturalistic “skating down the street” style. Not quite at the same level as that one part by that other dude from Boston, but it’s early yet. What happens next is up to him, on a day to day basis. There really is no nostalgia; kids don’t care if you were top four in the world at any point. All there is is what happens in the game on a day to day basis. Every day is its own odyssey.

this video is going VIRAL, BABY!!!

I did a big time 00's thing and uploaded a video to youtube--the montage from Sixth Sense with the Welsh sw 360 flip at the end -- second-to-last trick actually. Truth be told, I'm not the biggest fan of embedded video; it usually falls under the "hey dudes, look what I found on the internets" category. However, it's been floating across my mind's eye ever since the chrome ball dude posted this. Maybe it's a combination of skating through the banks that day and how completely out of left field it was at the time; I mean, the only dude who sw 360 flipped over stuff was...you know who. Note: apparently, it is one of the TOP 10 SWITCH 360 FLIPS EVER. Truth be told, I cannot recall if that was a SLAP topic or magazine article first--a moot point if there ever was one.
ANYWAY, there's some interesting stuff in there in addition to Welsh, like pre-cellar door Puleo, Brad Hayes (slightly ahead of his time), Jerry Fowler, and random footage of whoever was in NYC that spring, i.e. Nikhil Thayer at courthouse. Oh yeah--Dan "2 Fish" Rogers.

Ride the Sky Premiere Report including Gilbert Crockett mini-interview

dateline: Richmond, VA 8/16/08

"You're gay."
That's what my brother said when I called him and explained that I was at a skateboard video premiere. He lives in a house with a bunch of dudes about a block away from the cinema you see above, where the premiere occurred. The centerpiece of the house is a HD television mounted above the fireplace. Presumably, this will function as the locus of activity and excitement during NFL time. That's a few weeks away, though--summer still has 2 more weekends. As you might have surmised, my brother is diametrically opposite from me--total frat dude. Allegedly, he even has pictures on "facebook" of his girlfriend partaking of a beer bong, the end of it down by his junk. To his credit, he is slightly more advanced than I in that particular realm.
I always heard about dudes getting into skating because of an older brother. However, I think that wasn't in the cards because he's 10 years younger than I, which is a little too big of a disconnect to be influenced in that way, you know? But what the fuck do I know...
Anyway, maybe he's right--what the fuck am I doing with my life that on, a Saturday in the second-to-last weekend of the summer, I choose to watch a skateboard video with 400 12-year olds? The thing is, I still don't have the slightest idea what the average 30-year-old single dude does on an average weekend day. Play XboX? Tweak the fantasy football roster? I couldn't go to the gym because it's a JCC that opens at 1:30 on Saturdays. At the end of the day, as with most things that human beings are passionate about, there's some that "get it" and some that will never "get it."
It would take about 7 hours to explain to someone the import and gravitas of watching a video for the first time, and even then there's only about a 1% chance that they would "get it." So it's not even worth trying to explain--not even to my own brother.

ANYWAY...

***WARNING--SOME MUSIC SPOILERS AHEAD***

As one might expect, the soundtrack primarily focuses on Seventies hard rock of the "classic metal" variety, most effectively in the opening montage. Wait, what's that I hear--a flugelhorn playing the "AH AH AHHHHHHHHHH AH" from "Immigrant Song"? A call to arms for the masses of Black Box disciples? Perhaps...
Also of note, James Hardy skates to Skynyrd, the floodgates for which were opened by Chet Childress in that Nike video. If you would have told me fourteen years ago that it would be acceptable to use Skynyrd and obscure German proto-metal with flugelhorns in a skate video, I would have eaten my hat. Who knows what the next ten years will bring? Maybe Unquestionable, when it comes out in 2019, will have a soundtrack comprised of Dire Straits and Genesis. There are no rules--not anymore.
As for the skating itself, I'm not really going to deconstruct anything because, truth be told, this is not my genre of choice. Gilbert Crockett did the most flip-in/flip outs, which was more in my wheelhouse than the other dudes. Chris Cole, however, is on some Rodney Mullen Jedi master shit where there is no disconnect between board and mind.
His second song of a two-song part was "Diamonds and Rust" by Priest--the Unleashed in the East version; gotta love that mandatory fake crowd noise--see every other live record from 1970-1985 for more examples. Excellent choice though--kudos overall to the music supervisor, whoever you are.

GILBERT CROCKETT MINI-INTERVIEW

Describe the process of filming for the video; was it stressful or...
Nah this video wasn't that stressful because we went on a lot of fun trips; it was more relaxed than the Mystery video, so it was more fun.
Describe what it's like for you to be here at a premiere like this, with your family and friends, etc.
It's more exciting than the first premiere, because at the first premiere I didn't really know everybody there. It's like, it was in San Diego, I'm from Richmond, so this is when my family gets to come and everything.
What was the coolest place you traveled to during filming?
Probably Paris or Berlin.
Any goals for the future?
Nah, just trying to keep doing what I'm doing.
Whose part was the best, in your opinion?
My favorite part is probably Harmony.

Menace [under construction--critical update 8.31.08]

Allow me to direct your attention to the device around which the four gentlemen in the above photograph are gathered. If you are not familiar with this device, it is what was once known as a "pay phone"-- a mechanical device into which one inserted metal currency to enable the user to place a telephone call. Have you seen one around lately? Perhaps, but their numbers are dwindling (pun intended). Digital mobile communication devices have rendered them incomprehensibly obsolete.
The entity, or, to some, state of being, philosophy, whatever you want to call it, known as Menace baffles some in a similar manner. Whenever I would mention Menace, or, especially in the halcyon time or 1997, when I would skate only Menace boards and rock the classic Menace backpack around the city, i would be met with derision of the "Menace? Those dudes suck" variety. MENACE TECH became a semi-sarcastic battle cry of urban skateboard elitism as the promise at the end of the Trilogy section remained unfulfilled, as elusive as the faint aroma of weed smoke wafting through the banks. Indeed, "video coming soon" became a focal point for Menace's seeming ineptitude.
Indeed, one could easily, as Mackenzie Eisenhour did in his 2006 piece in Transworld Skateboarding, characterize Menace as "gangsta skateboarding." However, not only would that be factually untrue (the only gang activity in Rhode Island is, I believe, those inbred hitmen fucks from The Sopranos), it would oversimplify the part Menace played in the end-of-the-century milieu that engulfed the city of Los Angeles. That is the main purpose of this piece--to gain perspective on Menace/AC/CS by examining the context in which it existed, and, by doing so, ponder the meaning of menace tech on a journey of self-discovery--a vision quest, if you will.
At first, I intended to structure this post as a Powerpoint presentation posted as .jpg's. However, that would inconvenience those of you who read this and other "blogs" via Google Reader, so maybe if I run out of ideas at some point I'll just reconfigure it as a .ppt and make it available for download or some shit. So, what I'm going to divide it into a series of exhibits in chronological order, kind of like that one scene in Pee Wee's Big Adventure (exhibit Q!).

Exhibit A: The Conquest of Mexico by Cortes - 1519-21



The takeover of the Aztec empire by the Spanish conquistadors resulted in a synergy of the Spanish-European and Mayan-Aztec cultures and peoples. As a result, what we now know as contemporary Mexican culture was made possible, as well as a distinct melding of socio-religious imagery, which would influence the history of California hundreds of years later.

Exhibit B: Mexican Independence from Spain - 1810-1823

People tend to think of the present day as a time of unencumbered freedom and impunity. Well, that ain't shit compared to the 1800's. Based on my rudimentary Wikipedia research (the source of the facts in this article so far), it was easy as fuck to either invade another country and declare yourself or one of your relatives emperor, take over part of another country because, hey, they weren't doing anything productive with it, or start your own army with the goal of staging a coup of these United States. A gentleman by the name of Aaron Burr almost accomplished the latter, after shooting the Vice President and fleeing to a house in Perth Amboy, about 100 feet from the site of the last few tricks in this Fred Gall video part. Indeed. truth be told, one could start or take over some or all of a country with the ease with which modern day peoples can, if they choose, locate nine different versions of "Slide it In" by Whitesnake on Youtube--"Rock in Rio" '85 with John Sykes? Steve Vai's inspired rendition from his brief, yet lucrative, tenure (my personal favorite)? Or even a cheap-as-fuck edit of the song to some equally-cheap-as-fuck Playboy softcore video from 1989? It's up to you.
That's what it was like.
Mexicans seized the opportunity to take advantage of the situation--specifically, Naoleon's brother's systematic declawing of the Spanish military--to revolt against Spanish rule, eventually establishing the United Mexican States.
Felix Fernandez, the new republic's first president, adopted a new name (wouldn't it be fucking awesome if our presendents just, like, invented a newer, more fucking awesome name for themselves after they took office?) :
Guadalupe Victoria--the Victoria indicative of Victory, and the Guadalupe in tribute for the protection afforded by Our Lady of Guadalupe, a potent socioreligious image to this day:

Exhibit C: The Spanish-American War and the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo - 1846-1848

As I previously mentioned, the 1800's were a wacky time for national sovereignty. When the inhabitants of Texas just "felt like" seceding from Mexico in 1836, they proved that they were indeed not to be fucked with by routing the forces led by the infamous Mexican dictator Antonio López de Santa Anna. However, their independence was short-lived, as just 10 years later they "felt like" joining the United States of America. Mexico took umbrage, resulting in the Mexican-American War. We fucked them up, resulting in the above treaty. As one of its provisions, we were able to acquire the barren, uninhabited northern territories of Mexico--territories that would later become California, Nevada, and Utah--for $15,000,000. Oddly enough, if current trends continue, Mexico will be able to buy it back--perhaps for even less!

EXHIBIT D: Los Angeles - founded 1781

It would be impossible to deconstruct Menace without exploring its primary operating location. If one is to expand menace tech beyond a skateboard brand into a way of acting, a way of being, a way of talking, a way of thinking, one must consider the City of Los Angeles as as major a player as any. Indeed, the central paradox of Los Angeles mirrors the central paradox of Menace itself--the “menace” lurking beneath the surface of a seemingly idyllic town. Along those lines, Los Angeles, based on my brief visit there ten years ago, is simultaneously the most explosive and most boring city in the world. For example, one could be walking down the street and be literally the only person walking down the street. However, there was shit going on, you could tell. It was just beneath the surface, like "hot lava." The zeitgeist of this city has been depicted hundreds of times in, just off the top of my head, L.A. Confidential, Heat, Bukowski’s run-down flophouse barroom Venice of the Sixties and Seventies, the slew of ‘hood films of the early Nineties (more on that later), and my favorite scene of all time.

The power to corrupt is a central facet of this—the power exuded by the intoxicating amalgamation of money, drugs, sex, and perpetually perfect weather.

Like many dudes born in the mid-seventies, this power kicked down the door of my subconscious through something called Appetite for Destruction. I’m not going to spend that much time analyzing it, as it has been done effectively by others such as Danny Sugarman in the highly recommended Appetite for Destruction and, of course Klosterman, who, in Fargo Rock City, depicted the opening of the massively influential "Welcome to the Jungle" video thusly:

The first fifteen seconds of that vid explain everything we need to know: Axl gets off a bus in downtown L.A. with a piece of friggin hay in his mouth (and evidently, he didn’t do much chewing during the twenty-six-hour bus ride from Indiana, because it still looks pretty fresh)…I realized that Axl wasn’t welcoming me to the jungle, people were welcoming him. Suddenly, the whole album made a lot more sense: Axl Rose was screaming because he was scared.

Sex, violence, materialism—somehow, prolonged exposure to this trinity, first in a motel with Steven Adler, then, in that electric chair or whatever the fuck, metamorphosizes Axl into the shamanistic ubermensch we all know and love.

Of course, the now-defunct companies Hollywood and Hellrose appropriated this image more literally than Menace did--Kareen et. al utilized Los Angeles moreso as a metaphor for life. I missed that whole "hammers" era, but one Hollywood ad warrants mentioning--in the narrative of this ad, a young lady, a lady of the evening perhaps, or maybe the protagonist in the "Fallen Angel" song/video, has spelled out "Hollywood" in cocaine on her glass coffee table. Simply one of the most devastating ads in the history of the industry, and it would have indeed been an effective Menace ad in 1994-5.

Of course, the above transformation did not occur across the board – Enrique Lorenzo and the Lebron/Fernandez connection turned out okay. More on them later. By the way, did you know Slash went to Fairfax High (1:10 here – note shirt)? Trip the fuck out.

Exhibit E: California Gold Rush: 1848

Although this primarily affected San Francisco and Norcal, the Gold Rush set the precedent for the West Coast as a mecca for viral, exponential hypercapitalism, violence, vigilanteism, and sprawling population growth. Oh yeah, it also made that dude to the left possible. Who knows what the 49'ers would be called if ther had not, truth be told, been "gold in them thar' hills"--the SF Seals perhaps? That reminds me of the time I saw Joe Montana outside Supreme in the mid-Nineties. I can't remember what I said, maybe something like "Hey! It's Joe Montana!" He replied "Yeah yeah yeah" in a dickish way, probably thinking I was fucking with him.
Interestingly, similarly to menace tech, the Gold Rush attracted enterprising individuals from France and other European nation-states, driven in part by the cycle of revolutions that had just ripped through the continent. However, in the Nineteenth Century there would be no ironic reverse migration similar to the one that attracted Menace dudes to Europe in the mid-00's due to A) fertile spots and B)fertile bitches.Like my friend Ernesto always said, "you gotta go where the food is."

Exhibit F: Compulsory Education - 1852

Unless your name is Holden Caulfield or George W. Bush, you probably went to a public school. That's because, in this country, it's compulsory to go to school until they let you drop out or you graduate. Because of compulsory education, which was implemented initially in Massachussetts in 1852 and gradually spread across the country, it became the responsibility of the state to educate its populace. Despite the criticisms of Gatto, et al, who claim that compulsory education is, in essence, a tool used to maintain the hegemony of the ruling economic class, it resulted in a much wider dispersion of school construction. And where there are school, there are schoolyards. The proliferation of schoolyards in urban areas, particularly in the Los Angeles area, facilitated the development of menace tech.

Besides, have you ever tried to skate at Choate, Peddie, Exeter, or even Harvard-Westlake? Come to think of it, the Harvard-Westlake administration would probably let you skate there--I went to college with a bunch of dudes (and one chick who is now a B-list actress) who graduated from there, and it seemed like an ex-hippie Hollywood kind of institution. You know, the kind where you call the teachers by their first names and they encourage the kind of free-thinking cognitive-social development skating provides. Truth be told, I would fucking love to work there.

Exhibit G: Lyndon B. Johnson's Great Society - 1964

Once upon a time, governments had this "crazy" idea that their main purpose should be to enhance the quality of life of those whom they govern. LBJ was of this opinion, and he took action when he implemented a series of programs along those lines that fell under the umbrella moniker "The Great Society." The title originating from a speech he delivered in Ann Arbor Michigan in 1964:

“We are going to assemble the best thought and broadest knowledge from all over the world to find these answers. I intend to establish working groups to prepare a series of conferences and meetings—on the cities, on natural beauty, on the quality of education, and on other emerging challenges. From these studies, we will begin to set our course toward the Great Society.”

In terms of education, specifically, the Elementary and Secondary Education Act of 1965 got the ball rolling by providing previously unavailable federal aid to the most destitute public schools for materials (including, presumably, PVC picnic tables) and exceptional education. Who knows how many picnic tables and benches were subsidized by this legislation? One could even make the argument that LBJ's Great Society resulted in the Los Angeles Unified School District eventually having the means to purchase the parcel of land that would become Lockwood Elementary School--as noted in Joey Suriel's essential 48 Blocks interview.

Postscript: Truth be told, my friend "mnctech101" once made inquiries into purchasing a PVC picnic table, but found the cost prohibitive--between $500 and $1000. Knowing what I do now, that cost isn't really justified, especially when that could buy you an entire array of cinderblock ledgery/quickcrete Barcelona banks.

Still, it would be rad to have a picnic table.

Career Corner: Skate Industry Lawyer

In the summer of 1998, I worked at the Columbia Law Library as a book-shelver media assistant type dude. It was a decent enough job, I suppose; I got off around four, so I could go down to the banks/Newport (wooden bench spot here) and skate. I was afforded a chance to use the dewey decimal system. Also, working in a library, surrounded by all that knowledge and shit, was perfect for a pseudointellectual such as myself. In addition, all the female law students were hot as fuck. I was told, however, that they were all engaged--no doubt to hedge fund managers from Darien, Connecticut or some shit.
At the time, I viewed lawyers with the same disdain with which I looked at investment bankers, stockbrokers, and other such professionals--as dudes that don't actually do or produce anything of value. They just move money from one place to another. Or, in the case of lawyers, specifically, capitalize on people's misfortune. Plus I wasn't interested in taking another big fucking exam, and being surrounded by Tort all day highlighted the ponderousness of the whole law school/bar exam process. Moreover, for the most part, I'd rather be boiled in oil than argue with someone--anyone--and isn't that what lawyers do, anyway?

That was before I knew how much lawyers make per hour. Besides, there are many different routes one can take with law degree. One can go the Meadow Soprano route and provide pro bono representation to people who can't afford $5000 retainers. One can practice business/real estate law (don't know exactly what goes on there). One can also practice entertainment law, and litigate the use of music and other intellectual property in films, television, and video games. My experience in that particular sub-field of law led to the genesis of this post.
In hindsight, I should have thrown my hat in the ring and become the world's first skate industry lawyer. I would have been fucking awesome. Yes, I hate to argue. However, I am indeed Jewish. Furthermore, as documented on this site, I am adept at overanalyzing shit. Not to mention lawyers get to use the coolest office supplies, like yellow legal pads and those folders in which one can, after hole-punching, store the critical information recorded on said pads.
My thought process is as follows: entertainment lawyers seek to maximize the value of their clients. They compose and look over contracts to ensure their clients aren't getting fucked. Would this not be a useful service to provide to dudes in the industry, especially with all the contracts they sign with multi-billion-dollar publicly traded corporations? This might already be a "thing"--that is to say, there might already be a firm or group of dudes that specializes in this sub-field. But if there isn't, it simply stands to reason that wherever there are contracts and hundreds of thousand of dollars, there should be lawyers.
Fucking tons of lawyers.
So if you're looking for a career, or feel like busting out of whatever unfulfilling dead-end job you currently hold down (i.e. bitter shop guy) and starting a second career, consider skate industry lawyer. What the fuck, right?

A Big Brother "Trading" card.

I found this in a book when I was reorganizing my personal library. I don't know what happened to the other ones. I also used to have the tape from issue #9 with the Shiloh interview and prank calls to Grosso, but that too flew away with the sands of time. 

East Coast Industry?

East Coast Industry? (after the jump)

research

"...coming soon..."

"An expectation is a premeditated resentment"

I read that quote in some 12-step literature the other night. I suppose whoever wrote it was referring to living with an addict, but it applies to skating as well. You will have a much better time, I've found, if you approach skating, or any venture, with no or super low expectations. If you expect to land stuff, even something you thought you had wired yesterday, you're setting yourself up for resentment:
resenting yourself
too much wax
needs wax
shoes too new--need to be broken in
shoes too old--blown out
trucks too tight
trucks too loose
did I just crack my board?
It's like gambling--if you go to AC expecting to win, you're fucked. If you win? Bonus. You pay for the experience, wherein lies the value. Expecting the worst-case scenario is like the converse of this, and fucks with one's head equally as fiendishly, if not moreso.
That's not to preclude visualization--a crucial technique in any creative realm.

ps. this also applies to women

school's out

Therefore, I don't have to go to work for like two and a half months. Consequently, this site will be updated much more frequently. 

There are a lot of shitty things about my job; however, one thing the payroll department does is kind of rad: They space out my salary over the whole year, so that I get checks over the summer. 

This must be what it's like to be pro. 

Dude, I'm totally milking it.